(How to talk about men and still be politically correct.)

He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.
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He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
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He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
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He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
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He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.