Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over
by a policeman.

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right,
but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce,
chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned
everything up, but, he, "made the dinner".

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand
them.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go
with a pound of M&M chocolate covered peanuts.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally
resting to make a purchase.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style
you will never be able to duplicate again. See also "Magician".

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space...if
he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of
contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say, "Focus... breath...
push... Good Girl!"

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere
romantic". After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and
slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating,
marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a
candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky
to get a card.

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry,
shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Zillion (zil*yen) n. The number of times you ask someone male to take
out the trash, then end up doing it yourself anyway.