Politically Correct Ways to Say Someone Is Stupid

A few clowns short of a circus.
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A few fries short of a happy meal.
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The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
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All foam, no beer.
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The butter has slipped off his pancake.
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The cheese slid off his cracker.
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Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
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Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
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Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
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He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
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As smart as bait.
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Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
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Her sewing machine's out of thread.
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One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.
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Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
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His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
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Receiver is off the hook.
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Not wired to code.
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Skylight leaks a little.
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Her slinky's kinked.
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Too much yardage between the goal posts.
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Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together.
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A photographic memory, but the lens cover is on.
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Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
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Is so dense, light bends around her.
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If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
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Standing close to her, you can hear the ocean.
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Some folks drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.

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