In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
*
On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts."
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Outside a radiator repair shop, "Best place in town to take a leak."
*
In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you
are on fire and take appropriate action."
*
On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."
*
On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except
the dog."
*
At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking
for, you've come to the right place."
*
On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."
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On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."
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On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
*
At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss
a car payment."
*
Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
*
In a dry cleaner's emporium, "Drop your pants here."
*
On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and
the 2nd one just left."
*
In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
*
At the electric company, "We would be delighted if you send in your
bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
*
In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"
*
On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take
what you've got." (Burglars please copy.)
*
In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in
and get fed up."
*
Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."