--I'm the life of the party...even when it lasts 'till 8 P.M..

--I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

--I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where
I'm going.

--I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my
aspirin/antacid.

--I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

--I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

--I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're
saying.

--I'm very good at telling stories... over and over and over
and over.

--I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as
bright as mine.

--I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care,
dental care.

--I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, children,
politicians....

--I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.

--I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

-I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

--I'm having trouble remembering simple words like....uh....

--I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.

--I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

--I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

--I'm in the *initial* state of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP.

--I'm a walking storeroom of facts...I've just lost the storeroom.

--Do I have Alzheimer's? I don't remember. But, I'm happy, I think.