BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. This is what
consultants are fore, to take blame.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps
on everything, and then leaves.

CHAINSAW CONSULTANT: An outside expert brought in to reduce the
employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles. That's where I work, is in a Cube
farm.

IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem to have their idea generators
running.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
The world I've helped create.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube farm,and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
It commonly happens in most Cube Farms.

SITCOMs: (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What
yuppiesturn into when they have children and one of them stops working
to stay home with the kids. Thankfully we're avoiding this.

SQUIRT THE BIRD: To transmit a signal to a satellite.

STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with
no kids,no property and no regrets.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny.

SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

TOURISTS: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their
jobs."We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just
tourists. This is what direct employees do to get away.

TREEWARE: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
workplace.

GOING POSTAL: Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it.
Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who
have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.

ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in
an office or work group.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

CHIPS & SALSA: Chips = hardware, salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta
figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa.

FLIGHT RISK: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning
tol eave a company or department soon.

GOOD Job = A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job: A well-paying job people take in order
to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent
again.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but
you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime
example. Bill Clinton's shameful video Grand Jury testimony is another.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.

UNINSTALLED: Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice-mail of a vice
president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an
Uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator
for assistance. *(Syn: decruitment.)

VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach all the
appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm re-boot for a
Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the
Command key, the Return key, and the Power On key.

YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS: The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs
everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal, "We each
owe $8, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps.