Black holes are where God divided by zero.
*
All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
*
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
*
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
*
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
*
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
*
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
*
I intend to live forever-so far, so good.
*
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
*
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
*
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
*
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
*
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
research.
*
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
*
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
*
Half the people you know are below average.
*
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.