Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and
start bragging about it.

Don't let anyone tell you you're getting old. Squash their toes with your
rocker.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to
know why I look this way.

I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of
Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up, or leaks.

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top?

Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It is more often a succession of
jerks.

Yeah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Old age is when former classmates are so gray, and wrinkled, and blind
they don't recognize you.

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh
at when you are old. AND FINALLY...

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull
your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.