A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a
pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog.

The man replies, "Come on, a dog?"

The owner says, "How about a cat?"

The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want
a pet that can do everything!"

The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it!
A centipede!"

The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing
everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede."

He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the
kitchen."

Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... it's
immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried,
and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the
floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed.

He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room."

Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has
been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the
sofa plumped; plants watered. The man thinks to himself,
"This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet
that can do everything!"

Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a
newspaper."

The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later...no centipede. 20
minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later...no centipede. By
this point the man is wondering what's going on. So he goes to the
front door, opens it... and there's the centipede sitting right
outside.

The man says, "Hey!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes
ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!"

The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just putting on my
shoes!"