The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured,
regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary
and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in
the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in
the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed, Subsequential Internal Non-
morality, or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.

Some other symptoms:

[a] Loss of direction
[b] Foul vocal emissions
[c] Amnesia of origin
[d] Lack of peace and joy
[e] Selfish, or violent behavior
[f] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Idolatry
[i] Rebellion

The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is
providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct
this SIN defect.

The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear
the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no
additional fee required. The toll free number to call for repair in all areas
is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the
Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big
or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Patience
[e] Kindness
[f] Goodness
[g] Faithfulness
[h] Gentleness
[i] Self-control

Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on
the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the manufacturer has
made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring
and assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy
Spirit. Repaired units need only make Him welcome, and He will take
up permanent residence on the premises!

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without
correction voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to
dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human
unit being permanently impounded.

For free emergency service, call on JESUS.

Thank you for your attention.
Please assist where possible by notifying others of this
important recall notice.