A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher
was standing at the door as he always was to shake hands. He grabbed
my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

So the Pastor questioned, "Then how come I don't see you
except at Christmas and Easter?"

He whispered back, "I'm in the Secret Service."