They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.
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All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
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Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
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You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
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Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
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The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
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When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
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The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
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The ground crew uses jumper cables and an old pickup truck to start the
engines.
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You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, "Just once."