If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes,"
delete it immediately.
Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.
It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it
will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.
It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on
your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any
CD's you attempt to play.
It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so
all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
It will program your phone auto dial to call only your
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
It will drink all your beer.(For God's sake men are you
It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are
It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind
your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way
that is only fun until someone loses an eye.
It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active
verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable
misspellings which grossly change the interpretations
of key sentences.
If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95/98
environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your
hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses
and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.
**WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN.**
In case you are a blonde, this IS a joke.