If Airlines Ran Computers

 

 


UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the
airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by
piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be
building.

Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let
the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump
on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and
act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are
gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know,
and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so
just shut up.

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage
check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the
air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes and takes
out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their
own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways
themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the
ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you
board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of
the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very
comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single
problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the
other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to
do what with the seat?"